Posted on 11/15/2021
Even if as an outsider to our planet, you were to look through the headlines of the past year, it probably wouldn't take you long to realize that it's been a traumatic one for many. Since you aren't an outsider, of course, you've likely not only observed the events of the past year from an insider perspective, you've felt their impact as well.
Understanding How Trauma Affects Children
Traumatic experiences of all kinds (including the events we've all experienced this past year) have the greatest potential to impact our children with their not-fully-formed brains. According to Amy Bodkin, EDS, we now have a generation of children who have had ACEs, or Adverse Childhood Experiences and, as a result, a set of difficulties often categorized as "special needs." While we can't rewrite history or the effects that these events have had on our lives or on those of our children, we can help them work through these difficult emotions ourselves, starting with naming them, as we discussed in Part 1 of this series. After that, we can move on to validating and discussing them with our children.
Evaluating the Far-Reaching Results of Childhood Trauma
What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?! Well, sort of. As Bodkin points out, we do need stress to grow; however, when stress puts us into "fight or flight" mode, that kind of pain is not helpful. In her new book Childhood Disrupted, Donna Jackson Nakazawa has some startling insights about the long-term impact of childhood trauma, based on recent research. When adverse childhood experiences (or ACEs) are not properly acknowledged and processed, the results can continue for decades. According to her research, health problems noted by adults, who had experienced ACEs but had no other factors that would otherwise explain various struggles, had a much more significant incidence of mental health struggles as well as a variety of diseases.
Consider this summary of Nakazawa's findings: "The chronic stress of emotional-physical adversity... [made] these adults ill, decades later.... The overall pattern was undeniable: time... does not heal all wounds; one does not just get over something, not even 50 years later. Instead, time seals and human beings convert traumatic emotional experiences in childhood into organic disease later in life."
Taking Steps Toward Recovery
With this research about the significant effects of ACEs extending into adulthood, we as parents and a society as a whole need to seriously consider the effects of this past year and take steps to intentionally help guide our children through them.
While we may think that a trained counselor or therapist would be the best person to do this, we can all play a role. As your child's parent, you have the most significant impact on how your child processes difficult emotions. Even if you do hire a counselor at some point, how you discuss and model your emotions and your child's emotions will go a long way to aiding in the recovery process.
Continue reading with Part 3.
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