Posted on 11/22/2017
Full disclosure: We're going to get a little philosophical with you here, but hang in there: we will connect the dots for some practical application that relates to fostering happiness. Despite competing perspectives on the origin and nature of mankind, it seems the one thing on which philosophers and scientists can all agree is that self-reflection is among the chief characteristics that differentiate humans from all other living things. So when we excuse foolish behavior by saying, “we're only human,” maybe it's really that we're not maximizing our humanity to some extent. But I digress. How, exactly, can we foster self-reflection in our kids, and how can it contribute to their happiness?
Beginning the Process
Let's start with a working definition of self-reflection: Self-reflection, or introspection, can be described as thinking critically about one's own self. Introspection "involves examining one's own thoughts, feelings and sensations in order to gain insight." Of course, that kind of insight isn't meant to be an end in itself, but a means to an end: identifying problematic choices or patterns and recalibrating in a way that more effectively reflects or contributes to overall goals and success in life. Of course, a person's goals and definition of “success” will be in some ways unique to each individual, but for now let's just cover it all with the broad category of contributing to overall happiness — because in the end that's what we're all after anyway, right?
Understanding Your Own Hang-ups
For adults in general, particularly in high-paced modern America, we're not very good at taking time for self-reflection. It requires us to slow down, and that's not something we do well. Why is that? What keeps you from taking stock of things every once in a while, and considering areas where you need to make changes? Maybe you feel like if you pause long enough to do that, all the balls you're juggling will come crashing down. Or maybe you're convinced that meeting others' expectations or adopting their priorities are more important than carefully considering and re-assessing your own. Be honest with yourself, and then celebrate the fact that you've taken the first step toward the kind of self-reflection that leads to a happier & more intentional life!
Modeling Your Own Journey
We as humans are drawn in to stories; like self-reflection, it's something unique to us as humans and common to us all. Your kids may want to hear stories from your childhood, but as they mature into teens and young adults, they'll also want to hear about how you process choices in your current life. They already know that you don't have it all together; they need to know you're not done growing as a person and aren't above re-evaluating choices. Not only will talking through your own self-reflection help you clarify your own path and potentially strengthen your relationship with your kids, but it can also serve as a model for their own self-reflection.
Continue reading with Part 2.
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