Posted on 08/23/2017
Do you know what sets apart the healthiest, happiest families from the rest? They delight in spending time with one another. Some of us are naturally more gifted at fostering that, but it's really attainable for anyone. Like many things, it's part art and part science. In fact, there's actually a wealth of scientific information on how to "manufacture" that kind of thing: Our bodies release the chemicals that influence our happiness. While the chemical balance of each person may be unique, when we intentionally trigger joy in one another, we'll be increasing the overall strength of our family. And who doesn't want to do that?
Dopamine for Families
Dopamine is often considered the "happiness drug," but that term is a bit of a misnomer: It's actually more directly tied to anticipation than actual achievement of happiness. You can influence your children's dopamine levels and how they're tied to your home and family in very simple ways. First, on a daily basis, make it a point to greet each person at the end of the day in a way that speaks love to them. Maybe it's the sound of a favorite song as they join you in the car or an already prepared warm drink waiting on the table. Sometimes, mix it up a little and slip a note in a lunch box or send a text from work, saying you have a surprise that evening.
Novelty is definitely something that elicits happiness, but it doesn't have to have a hefty price tag or require an out-of-town trip. Think of a creative way to have dinner: dessert first, by candle light, or on a picnic blanket in the living room. Such simple surprises can break the winter blues and further cement those family bonds. Once in a while, you can engage Dopamine in a larger way, like planning a family trip or hosting a party. Whether the event is big or small, anticipation is a powerful emotion, and it's something that puts us in our happy place.
Oxytocin for Families
Oxytocin, sometimes called "the cuddle hormone" is something released through physical or emotional closeness with another person. While it doesn't always require physical touch, it's more likely to be triggered with in-person interactions (sans screens). Social bonding usually requires in-person eye contact, active listening, and the kinds of communication that strengthen relationships. Some of us might refer to the types of interactions resulting in oxytocin release as "warm fuzzies."
Some families have traditions surrounding birthdays or other holidays where each person shares something they admire about one person in the family or each individual member. Of course, in addition to special occasions, relational closeness is established in the midst of everyday interactions. Simply noticing when someone is down or praising a new accomplishment can go a long way toward developing a sense of emotional warmth. When empathy and sincere praise are regular parts of family life, this kind of chemical high will keep members coming back for more.
Continue reading with Part 2.
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